This section of the book goes into detail about the important of both talking and listening to our partners. I am probably one of those who FAIL at the listening part! It goes on to say that as years go by, there may be times where we will not make an effort at conversation, maybe because we're tired or bored or we just can't be bothered. There are of course, some who fail to express their feelings - in this respect, the book emphasises that emotions and feelings need to be shared despite the fact that some would feel uncomfortable opening up. Secrets breed mistrust and of course a problem can go unresolved if there it is not talked about.
One thing that resonated with me is finding the right moment to talk. For those of you who know me, my thoughts flow rather quickly out of my mouth, which is a very bad thing as sometimes my audience might not be ready for what I'm about to say! Unless of course, it's something positive. Then it's good to fire away at anytime.
About listening, 5 profiles of a poor listener is discussed - The Advice Giver, The Interrupter, The Reassurer, The Rationaliser and the Deflector. Quite self-explanatory. I'm most likely a Deflector - I end up taking the conversation off tangent sometimes as I have the attention span of a flea. However, if I make a conscious effort to give my full attention and remove distractions for e.g. close my laptop and stop doing the dishes, it usually helps. Also, too often, I find I'm quite critical - this is a mindset problem as in my line of work, there's always "constructive" criticism.
I do remember very clearly, how I often spoke to my Pa when he was still alive and how he would always give me his full attention. It was just knowing he was there listening and paying full attention and (trying) not to be critical!
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